Sports stars who make a
greater impact on headlines than the field of play
--
Thank God for Mario Balotelli. Without him, this window would’ve been so dull
we wouldn’t have needed curtains.
Until Monday, the overall newsworthiness of January transfer stories had
been lamentable. By-lines such as ‘Out-of-favour
Aston Villa defender Alan Hutton on the verge of moving to Real Mallorca on
initial loan deal’ seemed to take on vast editorial import.
Then along came Super Mario with his probable move back to Italy,
hurtling to the rescue of the headline writers and etching his name in
meteorites across an otherwise bleak night sky.
But not everyone in the media has greeted the news with the wonder and
awe it clearly deserves. Speaking to
talkSPORT, ex-England international Joe Royle said, “I’ve never understood what
all the fuss is about. He’s got no
work-rate. I’ve never seen a player walk
as much as he does on the pitch. He
doesn’t score enough goals and there are too many headlines off the pitch, what
with the parking fines, fireworks and silly t-shirts.”
To those of us who – by accident of birth or some other misfortune – are
Ipswich Town fans, the words of BFJ (the ‘B’ and the ‘J’ stand for ‘Big’ and
‘Joe’ respectively) will come as no surprise.
Here is a man whose most emblematic player purchase while manager at
Portman Road was, arguably, Kevin Horlock.
A no-nonsense, hard-knocking, journeyman midfielder, Horlock came to represent
a Town side of the mid-Noughties that favoured physical effectiveness over footballing
aesthetics.
Balotelli’s goal-scoring record for City isn’t as woeful as Horlock’s
was for Town (no goals in 58 appearances for the Northern Irishman). However, the oh-so-hard-done-by Italian has
hardly set the world alight this term, netting just once in 11 league appearances. Even last season, during which his scoring
stats were decent, my memory is of Balotelli as something of a passenger. And a surly, troublesome passenger at that, his
sending-off against Arsenal in April being his fourth of the campaign.
“It would be no loss if he left,”
Royle claimed.
That may be unjust. But it’s hard
to escape the idea that Balotelli’s media persona is greater than his
footballing achievements warrant.
Who else from the world of sport is all fur coat and no knickers?
--
Paul Nicholson ‘Bad Boy Of
Darts’
Since its reinvention under the auspices of Sky TV, the Professional
Darts Corporation (PDC) and Barry Hearn, darts has done a remarkable job of
selling itself. The spectacle we see
nowadays is a million miles from the fags-and-beer, back-room-of-a-boozer
affair that first hit our screens in the 1970s. With light-shows, music-accompanied walk-ons,
Vegas-style boxing announcements and packed, rowdy venues the country over,
this is real showbiz. The standard of
the sport has improved too, thanks in no small part to a certain Phil
Taylor. More nine-darters, more 180s,
more 100+ checkouts, and higher player averages than there ever were pre-1994
when Sky began its coverage. So there’s
substance beneath the razzmatazz.
Where there was a distinct lack of substance, however, was in Paul
Nicholson’s assertion that he was the ‘bad boy of darts.’ The naturalised Australian has frequently
walked unsmiling onto stage wearing sunglasses; he’s fired imaginary pistols
into the crowd; he often shushes and cups his ears at he inevitable booers. And he once imitated the antics of American
wrestler CM Punk when he knelt on one knee during his walk-on and yelled, “It’s
clobberin’ time!” before sitting cross-legged on stage as his opponent (only
Taylor) entered.
These are not the actions of a bad boy.
These are the actions of, well, a bit of a twerp.
Perhaps Nicholson’s most infamous display of supposed bad-boy-dom was
his calling out of Taylor in 2011. Interviewed at the World Matchplay, he said, “Mr
Taylor and me are gonna meet some time. And
he’d better bring his A-game. ‘Cos if he
doesn’t, I’m gonna put him to bed.”
Really, Paul? Ovaltine and a
Mister Man book with that threat at all?
Nicholson had in fact beaten Taylor at that year’s UK Open. Next time they met, though, Taylor ‘put him
to bed’ by winning 10-6 having been 6-7 behind.
After that, Taylor whitewashed Nicholson in the World Grand Prix. Hardly the effect the Newcastle-born thrower
would’ve been after.
The fact remains that Paul Nicholson has not progressed beyond the
quarter-finals of any major PDC event; neither has he competed in the Premier
League. So if he needs evidence of how
‘bad’ he is, maybe his own performances are the place to start.
--
Phillips Idowu
I was in a pub a while back and the name of Phillips Idowu came up. “Ah,” said one of the group who, admittedly,
is not one of the more fervent sports nuts I knock about with, “the one with
the blue hair, yes? The long jump fella?”
Now, when your hair’s more famous than you (not to mention your chosen
event), you have a problem. If Idowu had
gone on to claim triple jump gold at last year’s London Games, he’d probably
have the universal acclaim his talent merits.
Instead, his preparation was hindered by a niggling injury, and the
media reported a stand-off with Team GB’s head coach, Charles van Commenee, when
the athlete chose to stay away from a pre-Games training camp. When it came to the event Idowu, clearly not
100% match-fit, failed to qualify for the final.
The perception of Idowu as a supreme headline-maker rather than a
supreme competitor is grossly unfair, of course. Bar the Olympics, where he took silver in
Beijing, he has won every major title, indoor and outdoor, that the sport has
to offer.
However undeserved, though, the perception becomes reality for many
observers and Phillips Idowu remains as well-known by the wider public for his
image as for his performances. Perhaps he
should take a leaf out of Kevin Pietersen’s book. After the 2005 Ashes, KP dispensed with the ludicrous
skunk rinse he’d given himself, got his head down and became the model
professional we all know today. Never in
the headlines for the wrong reasons.
What’s that…? Oh.
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