Has there been an unluckier loser in the history of sport than Somerset this season? On Thursday they were denied a first County Championship title by virtue of having won one fewer game than the eventual winners, Nottinghamshire. The weather had appeared to have done for Notts’ chances going into the very last day of the final round of matches. However, the sun shone for long enough for them to gain the requisite number of points against Lancashire, including the three wickets they needed in just 28 balls.
In the Twenty20 Final against Hampshire last month, Somerset’s seemingly inexorable charge to the crown was thwarted first by Dominic Cork, then a piece of high farce. When Somerset batted, Cork bowled an exceptional last over of the innings – including a bouncer that surprised the big-hitting Kieron Pollard to such an extent that it made a rare mess of his right eye. Pollard was led from the pitch to the strains of Coldplay (which I can’t imagine improved his condition or anyone’s mood) and only a handful of runs were scored. So what might have been an un-gettable total was restricted to one that was just within reach. And reach it Hampshire did. With a single ball of the final over remaining, they were only one run shy of Somerset’s score. There had been a delay while a runner was summoned for the injured Hampshire batsman Dan Christian, which itself had prompted one of the groundstaff to tootle onto the pitch with whitewash to mark the creases on the strip the runner would be using. Only in England. Only in cricket. When eventually the last ball was bowled, it was squirted to backward point. Both batsmen and the runner charged through for a leg-bye, the scores finished tied and Hampshire won having lost fewer wickets. When the dust had settled, some bright spark in the Sky studio pointed out that Somerset could have effected a run-out, since both the injured batsman and his runner had left their crease. To his credit the umpire, Rob Bailey, had stood in the middle, mindful of this ruling, waiting for a Somerset player to take the bails off. But none did. Naïve, perhaps, but understandably so in the heat of the game and the disappointment of assumed defeat. Unlucky, unlucky Somerset.
Which other figures and teams have pinched Lady Luck’s arse and received a slap in the face for their troubles? Here are a few qualifiers:
Youmzain 2007-2009 Arc de Triomphe
Mick Channon’s charge has finished runner-up in the last three runnings of the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe. Last year, he ran into Sea The Stars, arguably the best racehorse that ever lived. Sea The Stars was completing a perfect season which had seen him win six Group One races, including the Derby and 2,000 Guineas. Youmzain finished with his customary rattle but was never getting to the winner. The year before, he was scuppered by the wonder filly Zarkava. [Incidentally, she has since been ‘covered’ (charming term) by Sea The Stars in their respective stud careers – if horse breeding were an exact science, the progeny would be undoubted world beaters.] 2007 was the first and unluckiest of Youmzain’s Arc silver medals. Involved in a head-bobbing finish with Aidan O’Brien’s Dylan Thomas, Youmzain was just touched off. But there had been some significant interference on the run-in. The French stewards – ordinarily far stricter than their British counterparts when it comes to overturning the result of races where interference has taken place – left the placings unchanged after an agonising half hour. Poor old Youmzain. Poor old Mick Channon. Incidentally, for those who love a fairytale ending, Youmzain is currently about 20/1 for this year’s renewal (Longchamp Oct 3).
Mike Gregory Embassy World Darts Final 1992
No sport shines a spotlight – quite literally – on its gallant runners-up in the way that darts does. Mike Gregory’s sporting handshake at the end of this match was a thin veil over disappointment that must’ve felt like bereavement. In truth he probably returned to his dressing room, smashed it up and wept. Look up the clip (after you’ve finished reading this, of course). See the way he can’t make eye contact with his conqueror, one Phil Taylor. Witness the heavenward tut and the plaintive, Oliver Hardy-style swipe with the hand still clutching his arrows. The man is broken.
The match is widely regarded as one of the all-time greats. Gregory was playing out of his skin while Taylor – not yet the unstoppable force we know today, but clearly already a great player, having won the title in 1990 – clung on grimly. And it was Gregory who carved out the chances to take the match, having six darts for the title. He missed them all: two at double 8, two at double top, two at double 10. The sudden-death leg at five sets apiece contained one final kick in the teeth for the Bath man. Having won the nearest-the-bull to throw first, Gregory had an unfortunate bounce-out on his first visit to the board and Taylor eventually won it with double top.
As with so many nearly stories, this is the closest Gregory ever came to winning the Blue Riband event in his sport. But how would it have changed darting history had he scored with one of his six match-winning arrows? Well, Phil Taylor would probably have just the fourteen World titles instead of fifteen.
Bayern Munich 1999 Champions’ League Final
Yes, Manchester United pulled off one of the greatest, most dramatic comebacks of all time. But spare a thought for Bayern. For nigh-on 90 minutes, they’d been comfortably the better side. Mario Basler’s early goal was the least the German side deserved in a game where they out-passed and outclassed United for long periods. The Reds turned in a pallid display and without Keane and Scholes in midfield (both were suspended), they lacked the cohesion and menace we’d come to expect from them that season. Were it not for an inspired Peter Schmeichel in the United goal, not to mention the woodwork, Bayern could have put the game to bed long before the 90th minute. But Sheringham and Solskjaer came on as second-half subs and, well, you know the rest. The sight of Bayern’s Sammy Kuffour pounding the turf at the final whistle, tears streaming, was enough to tug at the heart strings of even the most hardened of football fans.
So much for the sympathy. Now the schadenfreude. When Bayern won a corner towards the end of the 90 minutes, Basler strolled over to take it and waved to the fans. His gesture and the grin on his face said: “We’ve done it, boys.” Mario: you hadn’t.
Jimmy White World Snooker Championship 1984-94
This is not so much a tale of bad luck as an injustice of epic proportions. How can Jimmy never have won a World title when you look at some of the names – not fit to polish the Whirlwind’s cue – on the trophy? Peter Ebdon, anyone? Dennis Taylor? Joe Johnson? Graeme sodding Dott? Sometimes life’s not fair.
When White reached the first of his World finals, in 1984, he’d just turned 22. He lost out 18-16 to The Nugget, Steve Davis. I’m not ashamed to say that I cried (I was 11 and it felt inappropriate but such are the emotions White elicits in his followers). But despite the tears, there was an inevitability back then that his time would come.
In fact, Jimmy’s principal misfortune was to play in an era dominated by possibly the best, most ruthless cueman ever to draw breath: Stephen Hendry. He first lost a World final to the acne-faced Scot in 1990. Having also lost the ’91 final to John Parrot, Jimmy had the chance for revenge over Hendry in 1992. He was 14-8 up and needed just two more balls for 15-8. He missed and Hendry reeled off ten frames in a row to take the crown. If my memory serves me right, Jimmy barely had a chance in those final nine frames and Hendry was as near to perfect as it’s possible to be. But 1994 was the real sickener. After a titanic battle, it was 17-17. Jimmy was in the balls but missed a straightforward black off its spot. Hendry, inevitably, cleared up to win.
I’m told that after that ’94 defeat, Jimmy returned to his dressing room and confided in his close mate: “Someone up there don’t want me to win this trophy.” Except I’ve left a couple of words out.
The Whirlwind lost all six of the World finals in which he appeared, including four to Hendry and five in a row between 1990 and 1994. Tragedy, it is often said, is an inappropriate word to apply to sporting defeat. But every time I think of Jimmy’s failure to win the World crown, my heart sinks and my day is a little sadder. The best player in any sport never to win that sport’s premier title. Fact.
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As for tomorrow’s CB40 Final at Lord’s, what price a tied match and defeat for Somerset on countback for a third time in little over a month?
