My mum’s very fond of
neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). One
aspect of NLP claims that positive phraseology is a better way of achieving a
desired result than highlighting the negative, undesired outcome. So, the theory goes, it’s better to tell a
child to “carry that cup carefully” than to say “don’t spill that drink”; or to
remind your wife to “take the car keys with you” as opposed to “don’t forget
the car keys.”
Today, in the midst of what
must rate the biggest hangover British sport has ever known, I’m going to throw
all of that good NLP theory out of the window. London 2012 has been so spectacular, so
heart-warming and so darn successful for British athletes (I’m avoiding ‘Team
GB’ as it still sounds bobbins) and I just don’t want us to – how can I put
this without splitting an infinitive? – arse it all up. I don’t want London to revert to its sullen,
introverted self. I don’t want the
inevitable spike in interest in sport to fall off a cliff as soon as the nights
start drawing in. I don’t want us to
fall helplessly back into the arms of Premier League football like some serial
victim giving an abusive partner ‘one last chance.’
So I wanted to look at a few
cases of sporting comedowns, falls from greatness and spectacular failures to
sustain achievement. Firstly, because it
might prevent us from making the same mistakes – yes, yes, British sport, I’m
available for consultation for a modest fee.
And, secondly, because schadenfreude (and in at least one case
self-flagellation) is a strangely pleasant emotion.
Oh, and one more
non-NLP-style plea. Can we stop using
the word ‘legacy’? It sucks.
Australia’s Olympians 2000 – 2012
It’s a bit harsh, this one,
if truth be told. The 2012 Games
produced some superb Australian champions: Anna Meares in the cycling and
sprint hurdler Sally Pearson to name but two.
But the overall medal tally is down considerably since the Sydney Games
of 2000, where the host nation produced arguably the greatest ever Olympic
moment as Kathy Freeman carried more than one woman should ever have to carry
to land the 400m.
They were also unstoppable in
the pool that year – success that continued through to Athens and Beijing – and
it’s perhaps here that the decline is most marked. Just one swimming gold in London versus 5, 7
and 6 in 2000, 2004 and 2008 respectively.
Ian Thorpe, speaking on the BBC, claimed that the legendary Australian
sporting programmes, so often lauded for their capacity to identify and nurture
talent, simply don’t exist. Rather, he
said, it’s a more random process that occasionally unearths a world-beater
(like you, Thorpey). He further hinted
that funding was not where it needed to be and that the success of the previous
two Games had simply masked the lack of long-term investment.
One day during London 2012,
Channel 9 in Australia showed the medal table minus next-door neighbours New
Zealand, who were 10th on the list.
9’s explanation was that their viewers wouldn’t want to be reminded
about the success of the Kiwis, given how poorly the Aussies were faring. That says it all, doesn’t it?
I have no doubt Australia
will recapture former glory. For now,
though, and based on Olympic golds, they’ll have to settle for a place on the
podium next to the sporting powerhouse that is Yorkshire.
England cricket 2005 – 2006/7
If we’re talking sporting
hangovers, this was a monster. The 2005
Ashes have been well documented. In the
most thrilling series we’ll ever see – fact – England had beaten Australia for
the first time in nigh-on 20 years, wresting back the historic urn. As the victors stood on a stage in Trafalgar
Square 24 hours after the final day at the Oval, cheered by tens of thousands
of delirious fans, the decline had already begun.
Much has been made of those
celebrations: pretty much a 48-hour binge, taking in a trip to Downing Street
and that famous outpouring at Trafalgar Square.
Not surprising, really, when you consider (a) the punishment England had
had to endure for a generation at the hands of the Aussies and the attendant
exhilaration when we finally broke the shackles and (b) the booze culture among
young Englishmen.
Collectively, sub-consciously
(and totally understandably), we allowed ourselves to rest on our laurels. The sense of “we’ve done it” smothered the
need to understand “what do we do next?”
But there was more to it than
that. The team changed, for
starters. Most crucially, the
seam-bowling quartet of Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff, Steve Harmison, Matthew
Hoggard and Simon Jones never played as a unit again. They had each performed at their peak in
2005: Flintoff with accuracy and venom, causing particular trouble for
Australia’s left-handers (Adam Gilchrist, the best wicket-keeper batsman of all
time became something of Freddie’s bunny); Harmison with raw pace and
aggression (his scarring of Ricky Ponting on the first morning of the first
Test set the tone for what was to come, while his slower ball to get rid of
Michael Clarke at Edgbaston was arguably the turning point of the whole
series); Hoggard with new-ball swing and cunning (helped by some adventurous
field placings such as the short mid-off where he had Matt Hayden caught first
ball at Edgbaston); and Jones with skiddy pace and superb reverse swing with
the older ball (almost the forgotten man, Jones had the best average of all of
England’s bowlers). In the wake of the
Ashes, a combination of injury, loss of form and personal issues meant that
this quartet would never again operate together as they had in that golden
summer.
Add to that the fact that
captain Michael Vaughan had resigned and that opening batsman Marcus
Trescothick had pulled out due to his ongoing battle with depression, and the
team that showed up in Australia to defend the Ashes in 2006/7 was markedly
different from the one that played so heroically less than 18 months
previously. It wasn’t just that some of
the individuals had changed; it was more that as a team we looked like the
England of old. Hopeful rather than
expectant, cautious rather than forthright, visibly cowed by the Australians
who were out for revenge and – let’s not forget – still probably the best side
in Test history.
So when Harmison bowled the
first ball of the series to second slip, it was a sign of what was to
come. And what was to come was the most
complete, humiliating shellacking anyone could remember.
Fortunately, things have
taken a turn for the better in recent Ashes series…
David Duval
How can a man who wins the
Open, shoots a round of 59 and is for a time the number one golfer in the world
suddenly find himself at number 211 and struggling to make the cut of even the
most minor tournament? The glib answer,
but one with some truth in it, is this.
It’s golf, isn’t it, the most fickle of mistresses.
Dave was probably a bit
better than me in his heyday but I think I can sympathise. On the rare occasion I cream a drive
beautifully down the fairway with just a touch of draw, the first thought that
enters my head, after the initial shock has cleared, is: “What did I do
differently there?”
I use this example not
because I actually dare to compare myself to a pro (I’m vain but not deluded)
but because it illustrates how such a seemingly simple game can play havoc with
the mind. When you have hundreds of guys
on the pro tour, each of whom has mastered the physical aspects of the sport,
it inevitably becomes a mental pursuit.
Having plummeted to 800-something in the world rankings, Duval proved he
still ‘had it’ by finishing runner-up in the 2009 US Open but it was a rare
good day at the office. The fact remains
that the 2001 Open was his last tournament victory.
These days, he’s reportedly
taking a simple approach to golf. Just
go out and enjoy it is his mantra. We
can but wish him all the best. Unless,
of course, he’s planning to help the States win the Ryder Cup at any time in
the future. In which case he can
continue being pants.
Manchester City 1937 and 1938
City remain the only team
ever to win the English top division and get relegated the very next season. Perhaps even more extraordinary, they were
top scorers in the league when they went down, as they had been when winning
the title twelve months before. One site
records: “However, the defence performed badly…” [no kidding!] “…letting in 77
goals.” They finished 21st
and went down.
Let’s hope history doesn’t
repeat itself. That would be awful.
